


...and back again

by shoonathored



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: I Blame Tumblr, M/M, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-12
Updated: 2014-06-12
Packaged: 2018-02-04 09:38:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1774453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shoonathored/pseuds/shoonathored
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo just wanted a few good last days on the way to the undying lands with Frodo, Gandalf and the elves. But maybe sometimes, we are needed, because the way the things went wasn´t the way they should have. So a certain old hobbit soul sudddenly is in an old/young body again-with the chance to change everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	...and back again

Bilbo sighed. The prospect of a ride with the Elves, Gandalf and Frodo from the Grey Havens to the Undying Lands had brought him back some light in the twilight of his very aged life, but now that he drove slowly and quietly on the same ship over the water, he felt that calm and deep inertia in his body and head, which he, since he had left the ring to Frodo he could no longer shake off.

Actually, he knew for himself that he would not make it to the land of the elves, but that he did not say his nephew. `The boy already had suffered enough by me ', thought Bilbo. `I could have prevented it, must prevented it. Just because you were too cowardly, Bilbo you fool. `It is true, Bilbo regretted much. Many things ...

"Bilbo, my old friend, what are you brooding about again?". Gandalf's quiet voice brought Bilbo from his memories. The old wizard just knew and noticed too much.   "Oh Gandalf, let an old hobbit take a breath." "Breather? My dear Hobbit, I think `breath` is not quite the right word. But I leave you your will. Everything else has anyway never achieved anything. "                                       

With that the white wizard went back to the bow of the ship, where the Lady Galadriel and Frodo were talking. Bilbo, who was sitting on his bench, sighed again. The last remark of his friend called again awake old, deeply hidden memories.

_One map. An adventure. A lonely mountain and a dragon. A wizard and 12 dwarves. Miner, cooks, bakers, soldiers, scholars, princes, a king. Thorin. Thorin .... long nights with the community. Battles. Friendships. Feelings ... gold. A luminous stone. Gold addiction, a disease. Despair, betrayal, exile. Thorin´s face, twisted with rage, the disbelief in his eyes. Pain. A terrible battle. Losses. DEATH. Dead bodies everywhere. And a funeral for a king ... after that only endless grief. Sadness, and everything overwhelming DEBT!_

  
After all this time, the many years, Bilbo could still feel the pain of the loss of what was most important to him. The years back again in the Shire were terrible for him. They consisted of grief, anger and guilt. He had little contact with other hobbits, met only sometimes his maternal relatives, because the Baggins had from the outset no sympathy for his "blunder." From his deep hole only his beloved nephew Frodo could tear him. The boy himself had suffered from the early loss of his parents, and together they had shared and overcome their pain.

Bilbo smiled at the wonder that the boy had wrought for him. His wonderful Frodo, who had to suffer so much ... Bilbo knew what he had done wrong. All the mistakes, the things he could have changed. `Sometimes I have so much desired a different outcome, a chance at a happy life for those who are most important to me. `And with that thought the world went dark when the old hobbit drifted off to sleep ...

**Author's Note:**

> Well....my very first try to write something with a bit of sense. Please do not hate me for this, I really try.Don´t worry, I will edit this, it´s just a "first take", but it will take me superlong to write on. If you really read this rubbish, thank you! And please tell me what I did wrong/could do better. Stay happy, smile and remember: I love you all, lovely readers.
> 
> PS: I´m searching for a beta-reader/co-writer.


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